Butterfly

Manet's painting "Olympia" was controversial not for the female nudity, but for the confrontational stare of the model. Female sexuality is similarly something to be acted upon, but not an actor. In tandem with learning the pleasures of our own bodies, many women are socialized to believe our desires are dangerous - perverse, even - while simultaneously being the object of want. In my own experience of coercive relationships, I was attributed an agency that did not align with my felt sense of lost bodily autonomy: labelled a seductress for simply existing, I could no longer navigate the boundaries between my authentic and performative sexuality. This image and associated prose represent my efforts to rediscover my agency and desires outside of that control.

---

Envy the insects

Feared for their bite

Stripping cloth and wool and meat

Embodied appetite

Those allowed want- A verb

And not an object

(Hold your tongue and don’t object)

Count them crawling on the ceiling

Butterfly pinned and meek

Predators don’t like it when their meals have teeth

Be food, but do not hunger

Be water, but do not thirst

Play at Olympia in the mirror

Until you lose your nerve

And avert your gaze

Like Venus

– Anonymous